Welcome to the Love Sex and Leadership podcast where you can discover simple tantric teachings to embody your true power, awaken your soul's wisdom and live an inspired life as a natural intuitive and heart centered leader. Part of your capacity as a good practitioner is being able to track your own system and noticing the moments when you're maybe leaving your body, noticing the moments when you're fully not being present. And so this simple space for me on the hand, on the heart, the hand on the belly, let's the outside world fade away and the inner world to have a deeper connection, to feel what's alive, to feel what's inside, to notice what's happening. And a lot of the world we live in is often go, go, go and this to the next and always the the doing in part of our capacity as a good human, as a good healer. As a good practitioner is being able to the best of our ability to be in this to say rest and digest it. It's parasympathetic state or you're aware you're present in reference to where we'll be teaching and going. This is the the ventral side of the parasympathetic where we can be present, we can feel our breath. We're not in any heightened state, you can take in our surroundings, we're safe. We're here, we can fully receive the outside world. And one of the greatest tools of awareness that I've gained, I remember I learned it when I was getting doing my master's degree in spiritual psychology was the inner world is a reflection of your outer world. So if you can have in your inner world, a state of deeper relaxation, rest and digest doesn't mean you're being lazy, just means that your nervous system is being more relaxed. And you can notice when you get heightened, when you get expanded, when you're needing to fight to flight, to flee or things are rising, it's not a bad thing, but you can utilize that information as a gateway for your growth, evolution and expansion and that's part of what we'll be doing today. So receiving a breath into the body, opening your eyes when you're ready. Hm. Mhm. I'm gonna take a bit of time here and just give you a bit of discourse, a bit of communication around the nervous system. Some of these handouts when we're giving them to you, it's not necessarily a a read by read thing. It's a, a general overview and part of why we've done that is often you go through a training like this and then two weeks go by or a month, go by you're like, what was that thing A said? And so I'm also getting some recordings as well that I'm happy to share with you as just a gateway to assimilate more. Um And that's really what I've learned in my own journey is that taking in this information at different times throughout the day? I remember when I was 25 and doing my master's degree and I was studying with, you know, uh um kind of a mad scientist, um you know, doctor chiropractic doctor, I was studying with uh uh Ernest Holmes, um kind of science of mind, kind of channeling spirit, um philosopher uh guy in L A and, and I was just out of all these different streams. I remember I was in the car and I'd always be absorbing and taking in. I'm still very much that way. I'm kind of a perpetual student. It's one of the reasons Lourdes and I get along well with two geeks that just kind of always are king out into deeper levels of understanding this, but also being able to then communicate it in a way that takes it out of esoteric knowledge and into grounded practicality. So my intention today with you is to give some understanding of how our nervous system works. And then also a grounded application of how that applies to you as a, as an individual and then as a practitioner and just as a show of hands, how many of you have kind of studied uh a little bit or extensively into the nervous system and how things work. OK, great. So there's a fair amount of experience in there. I mean, gives me some good place to start from. We have some diagrams there, um diagrams that I can relate to the DT part of my brain that can relate to. Um And you know, one of the first things I wanna speak into around the nature of this work that we're doing is trauma and this, I think was a definition she gave to me. Um or maybe heard from somewhere that really has stuck with me is, is being alone with too much, being alone with too much means at different times in our lives. When we've gone through more soft trauma, hard trauma, there was too much that was happening and there wasn't a capacity for our nervous system to fully assimilate it and to be with it. And so in these moments of trauma, instead of being able to be with it, our only way of creating safety is often leaving and ascending out of the body. And if we haven't been grown up in a family that lets us run our fight response or let run our flight response and that energy gets stuck in the body and as it gets stuck in the body, and then we rise into the uh more upper stages of the parasympathetic where we're going into disassociation where we're going into the freeze where we, the way I like to say is the lights are on, but nobody's home. And how many of you have times recognized that they disassociated. Yeah. And so as a practitioner in the work that we're doing here, there are certain cues that you can start to recognize in the, in the eyes, in the breath and the awareness of someone that you're working with. Because some people, if they're continually disassociating, they're not always really aware that they're doing that. And so part of what you're doing is tracking through a given session time. What's happening in their nervous system? Are they deeply breathing? Huh? Are they sounding through it or, or have they gone a bit more mute? And, you know, in the nature of these sessions, sometimes we can have these super ascended journeys where it, we're almost leaving the body. But there's two ways of leaving the body. I look at, there's a way of leaving the body because we don't feel like we're safe and we're leaving the body because that's the past conditioning that we're used to. And sometimes we're leaving the body because we're making love with Jesus and this guy, you know, and, and that's a beautiful thing. And there's a difference that you can notice when someone's leaving the body because their breaths are short. They're not actually, there's not a lot of movement happening and there's a bit of a disassociation to the awareness of the, the movements and the symptoms happening in their body and to that state that they're going into. Whereas if you're leaving the body and you're making love with Jesus in the sky and how many know what I'm talking about. It's like those moments of, ah, and there's the, there's, the body is, is alive, there's some senses that are happening, there's some movement that's coming alive, there's some pieces that are, are there. And so in that state, we're not going into disassociated state where we can't be present. We're going into a state that's actually part of transitioning, you'd say into a transpersonal state of our being. What we're due through this week. And really the essence of Tantra, if we look at the, the chakra systems is we're finding alignment in our body so that we can master and navigate the human experience. That way when we get to our crown, which is the transpersonal 1000 petal lotus that opens us into the, the the states beyond the body, we can do that as a gateway to connect to God. But we're not doing that as a way to ascend out of the human experience. A lot of spiritual traditions. And one of the reasons contra differentiates itself is that a lot of spiritual tradition, people are ascending out of the body because they don't feel safe in the body. And what we're doing in Tantra is we're saying, yeah, there's divinity out of the body but there's a lot of things that we need to master and navigate and work with in the body before we can transcend out. And so to really have that transcendent experience that connects us to the divine. We're mastering how to work with this hollow flute of energy. If you go out in the garden over here, there's some wind chimes. I don't know what it says exactly the translation that may have been off. But basically, it said the wind chime is a hollow bit of energy. And then when it connects to, you know, uh uh whatever the thing that's knocking it, it creates sound from emptiness. And there's a beautiful piece with that. And that for you as a practitioner, my greatest desire for you is that you can show up into a session with emptiness, not with fullness that's trying to say we need to do this and this and this and this is what and yeah, these are all tools that you're supporting to master your own experience and master the tools that you're showing up with. But ultimately, when you are an empty channel, then you're letting love move through you and you're giving the transmission of that emptiness into that being that's in front of you. And when emptiness, not emptiness, as if it's badness, but emptiness from a fullness and expansion. And when you meet someone from emptiness and that person, that body, that energy recognizes that there's a full capacity to be in their everythingness, to be in whatever is alive. From yesterday, I said all of you is welcome. And so when you as a practitioner meet a body and a being from the place of emptiness and anything that's not love or above in their body wants to come out because it feels safe enough to do. So. And this is where the nervous system meets somatic education is because when you can have the tools and the resources and recognize that all you actually need to do is to support this individual to the best of their ability to be in a state that lets any of the bubbling up inside of them, breathe sound and express through their body. Then you're giving them the gift of emptiness, you're giving them the gift that's allowing the past re you know, remembered guilts and shames and fears and frustrations, come up to the light of awareness to be felt, experienced and expressed. And so the heal the traumas of our past, we have to meet it at a similar energetic to which it was received. This is one of the biggest challenges I have with a lot of you could say more uh modern present um psychology that has an issue and this is the issue and all we do for sometimes a year, sometimes three years, sometimes five years is just go, oh look at this issue. We're just gonna keep going around and then we'll go around the other way just to pretend like we're doing something different and we'll go around this again and again, how many have been there times in your life? Yeah. And so because what it requires to go to meet this energy is a deep place of emptiness of you as a practitioner that can be present to whatever comes up from not judging and whatever arises in this space, especially when we go into sessions, all of you is welcome. So if you're suddenly in a session and memories come up for when you were five or 10 or 15 and you need to express and feel if you've been going like this the whole time, then a part of you is gonna feel like you're not safe to express this. And when you feel like you're safe enough to express it, the way that you do it to actually heal the things from the past is saying what you need to say and expressing what you need to express because the young child in you that had that trauma that happened to him or her at a young age probably had their voice shrunk, probably wasn't able to uh I don't feel safe. Well, no, don't touch me like that. Uh express and breathe and sound and a little bit about my own journey into, you know, where I am. Now when I was 25 and I started doing my master's degree. I was working at the time for a self development publishing company. And we had a few 1000 authors around the world sharing stories. Like, thank God, I was raped and thank God, my son died and thank God, I was sexually molested and I found myself in 1 to 1 conversations with people who had gone through some of the most horrific traumas in their life. Some of them were healed through it. Some of them not so much. And I ended up not having a lot of trauma experience, but going in starting to doing trauma coaching in a way. And I recognized different pieces that were present for someone who had actually been able to heal through the trauma is that there wasn't a trying to push it away. There was a deep meeting of it, there was a deep meeting of it and this is one of the challenges I have with a lot of psychology and, and different aspects of, of trauma healing is that they're not actually going to the source of it and feeling what we need to feel because a lot of our nervous system when we go to that source can then disassociate again. And then there's a fear that that's going to happen. But this is where we're training someone to be able to breathe sound and stay present. And one of the big things why Lourdes and I are quite aligned is that when it comes to doing more internal work, I'm 99.9% of the time never doing internal work with someone within the 1st 3 to 4 sessions. I'm supporting them to be able to breathe sound and feel if they can't feel the pain of their mom when she abandoned them. When they are 10 years old, me putting a finger inside of them isn't gonna suddenly ch that. It's actually probably going to re traumatize them because they haven't been able to be present. You know, there's a um a woman who came to our uh training this past February and she had reached out to me probably a year before wanting to take the training. And we started doing sessions together and said so for about a year, I did, you know, about 4 to 5 sessions when I was traveling through Florida. And each time I could feel like she's like wanted to go into internal work and it wasn't saying that, but I could feel that in her body and I just kept meeting her where she was and there was a lot of deep inner healing work that was necessary to do before I could do work like that. Because if I just go into doing work like that, then the system can't actually assimilate it. And this is one of the biggest challenges when people are receiving one off yoni massages and they're receiving, you know, deep base work without their bodies actually being able to be prepped for breathing, sounding. And expressing because if you're receiving internal work and then suddenly a memory comes up and you haven't already trained your body to breathe sound and express, then you're just going to freeze deeper inside of you. And it's actually, it's not gonna, it's gonna re traumatize sometimes it can, but it might not actually clear it at the source. So this is really the, the nature of slow somatic processing. There is no destination, there is no place that we need to go other than just continually reading and recognizing where someone's at in their own nervous system to be able to support them, to Contin, to continually come back into a level of homeostasis. And now in a session structure which I'll go into a piece as well, leaving someone in a fight and flight response isn't supportive. So you want to feel like they're rising and then they're coming back down because it's in the integration that the healing actually happens more than anywhere. It's in the integration that the system, the nervous system can begin to assimilate and, and integrate into day to day life rather than just having these peak high. I was experiences where we make love with, with Jesus in the sky. And then we don't know we went from here to here, but we didn't go to du du du du du du du du du, du, du, du du, du, du du du du du du do. We went boo and then afterwards we go push and then we're like, ah, fuck who's been there before? Mm. And so what sometimes this work can feel like for a client is three steps forward, two steps back. I'm a, I'm a mountain climber and I'm often climbing mountains and getting out in nature. This last summer I was climbing Kilimanjaro this next year I'll be climbing. Um Ain CGO, which is about 7000 m in the Argentina and taking a group of, of men up there. And I've climbed a lot of volcanoes in my life and often when you're climbing a volcano and you're in like sheets, you're climbing up three steps up, two steps back, three steps up, two steps back and it's nerve wracking. It's like, damn. And literally the ground just keeps like falling away. And you're like, I'm not getting anywhere. And then after a half hour, you're like, I am getting somewhere and I looked at that as a relation point to what this work feels like sometimes is that you're making slow steps and sometimes those big huge steps that you make, they might feel great in the moment. But if you haven't been able to assimilate your nervous system along the way, then you're just gonna get to the Monday morning blues after a weekend workshop that you exploded into the sun and then you come back down and you're like, oh fuck, I don't know how to get there without taking the medicine without taking this thing. And so as a practitioner, when you're working with someone's nervous system, it's recognizing where they are at any given time, supporting them to meet their edges and to meet that edge, but not to push them over the edge without a parachute. But to meet that edge, it's to do it with presence awareness and attunement. And a lot of times when I'm giving sessions to someone I can recognize as a place that my mind and ego wants to take them. I'm like, oh, I know what I can do with them. I can go there but their bodies aren't ready. And if I take them there, that's not gonna be a service to them, even though they might have that peaked, amazing experience. That's absolutely incredible. And you'll have some peak experiences through this week and the time after where you're assimilating and dropping down and integrating and letting that all land is actually more important sometimes than the peak experience. And, and this place of, of attunement and deep like professional awareness for you as a practitioner. And I know some of you are working with groups as well. This happens in group space of working with a nervous system. There's a, a sense where people feel like they can go into and that's a great access point and it's amazing that they can access those places. But what's really important is that they have the capacity to then come back down in the, into the rest and digest and having the time and the space to do that to me, I think is one of the most important pieces I've learned with the nervous system and being able to assimilate it into day to day life. A couple other pieces that I have on the sheet paper for one. And those of you who have done sessions before when we're going into sessions here, what's really important is that the client has full permission to say no to say, fuck you to say, get the fuck out of me. You asshole. You know all of that word because we often didn't have a chance to say and communicate those things when trauma was happening to us and our boundaries are no when it hasn't been uh appreciated. Honored and, and you know, been a place of, of yes from a young age and the no has been someone else, you know, pushing their yes upon you, meaning any time somebody else's yes has been more important than your no. And you've said yes to something that you're a no to that no is still residing in your body as stored somatic energy that hasn't expressed itself out. I don't know if I have my, my magnets with me, but the way our bodies are made up is we have positive charges and negative charges, our cells and these cells, the positive charge and the negative charge create matter. It creates the floor that we're on, it creates the bones that are in our body. And when you've had things in your past that you haven't said no to that you haven't expressed to that you haven't equilibrate the charge of. Then imagine this, it's like a half spin of a uh you could say a negative energy that's in your body and what it's doing, it's attracting the people, places and experiences into your life that are trying to support you to love honor and appreciate the perfection of the past. Now, what does that look like in real time that looks like? Probably attracting a very similar relationship or a very similar partner? Just with a different name over and over and over again. How many have been there? Yeah, because there's some medicine and some gold that's there that, that's inside that situation that hasn't been rendered as a, as a gateway for your growth and evolution. So you're attracting that situation simply because your body system wants to grow, evolve and expand. And so you're trying to draw in similar experiences to the things that happened in the past that you didn't love. So you're drawing that in but then you keep saying no universe. I don't want that anymore. I don't want that. Keep pushing it away, keep pushing it away and something you keep pushing it away. What does it do? It gets bigger, it gets bigger and bigger and bigger. And so it's listening and asking that thing that's showing up. Why are you here? What are you trying to show me what's present that you're bringing into my field of awareness? And where can I express what I didn't express, feel what you didn't feel and let that energy move and vibrating your body rather than just keep pushing it down. Because if you keep pushing it down, it manifests as disease as cancer as all of these different ailments in the body. Simply because we haven't been feeling so really a healthy nervous system feels deeply now. That doesn't mean you're in catharsis 100% of the time. But when anger comes up, anger gets expressed, it's like, look at happiness and sadness. When someone's really happy, we're not like, oh my God Lourdes, you're really happy today. Did you take your pills? So all the pills you have, you know, did you take them? Because you're way too happy? Like I think something's wrong but when someone's sad, we're like, oh my God, you're sad. Let me fix you. Let me make you all better because I feel uncomfortable because you're sad. Did you get that? That's often what's happening in society? Someone's sad. They're making their sadness, making me feel uncomfortable. Let me give them a tissue so that they are all better. Here, here here. Please take that tissue. So I don't have to feel the uncomfortability of your sadness anymore. Take a breath. Yeah. So yeah, there's a there's a lot here and we'll be weaving all of this into throughout this week. But I'm starting with this now because this is to me, one of the most important pieces and with the nervous system, it's can be really easy to get stuck up into the mind with all the different. Um, you know, there's amazing courses you can go on. I'm not like a nervous system expert, but I've been working for bodies for over 16 years. So I'm quite good with reading bodies and what's happening. And I understand enough and my geek can dive into it a lot and to understand these pieces. But I also know when it comes to being present with someone, they don't really care about dorsal or ventral or parasympathetic. They're like, what the fuck are you talking about? Just be with me. And that's ultimately what you're learning to do is just to be with them. And your mind might have all the reasons understandings of what's happening inside of them. They don't even really need to understand you're understanding this on a cognitive level. So that when it comes to your practice as a practitioner and your practice inside your own inner world, you can recognize the times and the spaces when you need to express when you need to feel when you need to move your body, when you need to express the frustration inside and noticing. And I've noticed this huge inside myself, even though I can feel the part of me that needs to go beat the fuck out of a pillow. I'm like trying to mentally justify why I shouldn't. Who knows this? You're like, no, that I'm too good for that. I've done that before. But think about all the times in your life when you didn't and the backlog of energy and moments and the times when you didn't express and you didn't communicate and you didn't let your voice be heard. And that's literally a backlog of energy. So part of what we're doing is we're getting empty and by getting empty, we're equating the charges of our past by breathing, sounding and feeling them so that we can actually hold a place of presence. And what does presence mean presence means. I'm here with you. I'm not future projecting into the, in, in, into the future and I'm not going back into the past. I'm right here now. And by not going back in the past, there's a level of cognitive equation and appreciation for what's happened as well as somatic expression of what hasn't been felt. So that brings me here and the same thing when I future project into the fantasy into a moment that I think is gonna be better than now. It's breaking down that fantasy so that I can actually show up as a being that's present here, sounding and connecting into my body into my center, deep breath in. So I wanna open up for any questions that might be alive on this. Yeah, Sarah um has my sister, my mom tries to, to put it together so I can like bring in what I learned, what I experience into. I've done quite, between 35 and 40 quite a lot of se so my experiencing and then also in my teachings I learned about Den. But I feel now looking back that actually those are somehow, also good tools, but they blocked somehow my energy because I couldn't completely cry. I couldn't get mad. It was more like ST stay slow between the, the different polarities and, and it was like, OK, that was also helpful. But somehow I needed actually what came afterwards is really and being allowed to really cry, to be angry to, to stump. And so, and now I'm like in this place like, OK, I mean, of course, um differentiate, differentiate and, and all that tools of se no, whether they are played, it's mm somehow one answer I have no, I'm not sure it's the right one. So it's like, well, actually it helps maybe in between the gap if somebody can't get into their body and dissociate. So this little bit smoother um can help just the first step to, to, to stay here. So I'm I'm a little bit technical. So if I hear you correctly, there's a part of your brain that's through somatic experiencing very much um fragmenting the place to which you feel like you need to work with someone and not allowing the naturalness of what's alive to be there. Is that accurate? Ok. Yeah. And what comes up for me when you ask that is we live in a society that often cognitively is expressing our emotional body. We're so used to our emotional body. Not actually like when someone asked you how you feel, we often go into deep philosophical explanations that are coming from our mind, not our body. And so what I see in a lot of, you know, there's different levels of somatic experiencing. I've done a lot of that is sometimes it's somatic experiencing through the mind. And it's not actually like letting the somatic aliveness expressed through our body. And, and you know, if we look at this current crazy, you know, meme thing going around between a woman meeting an animal or a bear in the woods, it's like we're often afraid of that bear because there isn't a place in our society that lets the wildness express. And so even in these deep, profound somatic moments when we're doping into our body, it's still like, oh no, it has to be done like this to do, do, do, do, do to do it. And I'm like, fuck off like let the, the the full aliveness of my being move vibrate and express without needing to be understood why one of the biggest gateways of freedom in my own journey. And what I see with clients is, and this was such a shift for me. One of the, the with, with this though, I remember the first time I took the training with them and I was in a grassy field in New Zealand and it was pouring rain out and I was just crying and crying. I watched my mind that was so used to analyzing every little thing of why this was happening, why this was happening. I watched my mind trying to come in and figure out what I was doing. And some part of me, I don't think it was my mind just said, just fucking leave me alone. And I just cried and I cried and I was angry and I let emotions pour through me without reason, without understanding why. And there was a shift that happened in my own intellectual, academic, everything driven world where I was like, wow, there's a part of the emotional body that doesn't give a fuck about wanting to be understood. Now, that doesn't mean it just needs to be run rampant. But what it means is that with an awareness of giving the freedom of the emotions and the somatic body and the things alive just to express and just to be wild and weird and kooky and whatever else is there. Then naturally there's going to be an assimilation process that opens and some of the things that we're gonna be taking you into here, your mind might be like, what the fuck are we doing? Like this is uncomfortable. This is strange. I don't understand the reason why the, the, the, the, the, the comprehension of why that needs to happen. And this is where when we drop into that space so much more gets to be revealed. I don't know if that answers your question but that I feel like there is possible threads of that there. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like actually it's the loyal because I appreciate the teacher there then. And it's like there's a loyalty. I don't actually, my experience is actually much more deeper and much more healing going through the process to express. And that's just my experience. And so I think there's like, OK, I felt now like, well, I can let it go with gratitude judgment. But actually, that's not my way. Exactly. And that's, I love that you bring that in because there's things like just as we said in the agreement field, there's things that we're gonna show you this week that you're like, this doesn't resonate with me. And I don't want any one of you to be me or to be Lourdes, like you're your own beautiful teacher. And the way in which you assimilate this work into your life is absolutely amazing. And that's like you're utilizing all of the tools that you have. And just like, and to me, any teacher who's saying this is the way and this is the way it has to be done. It's like that. I feel like there's an old paradigm that needs to die and is slowly dying because there's a lot of identification of the ego to this needs to happen like this. And like this, you know, I was just doing um uh interview with, with Margot Anan. She was kind of a, like a grandma of tantra and I love her. She's 80 years old going on, you know, probably 25 and we hang out. She hits on me all the time. We have coffee together. It's great. It's a good time. And I remember the first time I took a training with her years ago, I was in um Spain and it was a great training and I enjoyed it at the end of it. I came up to her and I said, you know, Margot, are you open to feedback? She looked at me and she's like, do you feel I was coming from a loving place? Like it's like, yeah. Yeah. OK. So I share it. I'm like, obviously, you, you're like, I have so much deep respect and love and everything you created. And my experience of your co teacher is they're not stepping into their power because they're just trying to be like you. And she's like, they're supposed to be like me because this is the way and this is the way it happens and this is the methodology that I taught. It needs to be delivered in this A bxyz and I was like, fair enough love. Yeah, I got you. And, and what I was met in that moment with was just a different paradigm of doing things. And there is a, we're moving, we're evolving in, in this work more and more and there is a time and a space where that absolute methodology is a requirement and there's things that we're gonna teach you here that going through each step is important. But then after you go through each of those steps, like assimilate it into your own world. And, and that's really where you get to have the flavor of your own essence. Because if you're just regurgitating the information that we've shared, then you're not, not really you stepping into the divine genius that you are and every one of you is a genius. Every one of you has a gift and our intention is just to inspire and to light that gift up so that you impact all the people in your life and the tools that we're sharing, take what's there for you. And you might have something that gets created from totally out of nothing. That's just not anything that's ever been seen. Beautiful, utilize it, flow with it. And this is also what gets me in this field is when I see people copyright the new modality of this. It's like there's nothing new about you. This was done 30 years ago and 70 years ago. And 100 years ago just had a different name. Yes, it's beautiful that you've copyrighted it as the XYZ process. And you're gonna now have a lot of ie your identification of it for the next 34 years of your life. I celebrate you. And can we go beyond that, please? Deep breath in. So I have time. Maybe a for another couple of questions. Yeah, this is my name. Um The name of your, the name you mentioned earlier of your teacher in uh when you were at university. Um Yeah, so I had a few teachers. So I did my master's degree at the University of Santa Monica, which is a uh was a two year in person uh masters in spiritual psychology. It's now online as a certificate program. Amazing. It was basically two very traditionally trained psychotherapist um that wanted to create a more experiential program. So we would learn uh a tool, a technique and then we'd immediately sit down as a client as a counselor, as a neutral observer. It was amazing. It really set me in my journey for my coaching work. Um And then I was also studying with uh Michael Beckwith with which is uh runs a place called Agape. And that's a lot of like basically becoming a channel of spirit and that had a big impact on me at that time. And then another mentor I was studying with as well was Doctor De Martini. This channel of the mad scientist exch um has programs that basically break down the meaning of the universe and how we, you know, the origins of the cell and how we live and breathe. And if you wanna go like deep into men, mental cognition for a week or 10 days of your life, he'll mind, fuck the shit out of you for days. So highly recommend it. If that's your kind of kink, you know, it's been my kink at times. The last one I did with him was many years ago and I feel like I'm still integrating with that, but he's a, he's a dear friend as well. Been working in this field a long time. Yeah. Yep. Any other questions here? I'll try to explain that when working with a patient. Like I agree with what you said to say no to, to swear and everything. But then sometimes patients they see more present and could say, OK, no, but hold or no get out but sometimes maybe dissociated. So more like it's like becomes more intuitive because it's not like you're not gonna be asking at the time. So could you kinda, yeah, I mean, more to me when I see someone beginning to disassociate and not communicate, I'll just um I thought you're just, I'll give them a little bit of a tap. Oh You have a little bit of movement in the throat and you'll see some of this as we're going into sessions together and all that's doing is just bringing them back into the awareness of the touch that's there. Um That's some of the, you know, tools in that sense in terms of their, uh I don't know if I understand the exact nature of the question but um in terms of the, no, I, I find someone that can really just fully honor and express that no. And sometimes there's such a fear of, of expressing the no for what it means as a child, what it meant to say no, what we weren't allowed to say no and everything else around that. So just simply the exercising of that no can start to bring the nervous system back online more because literally all the times we haven't been able to say no, the more that we're able to do that, then we know our capacity to say no when things arise and then we can communicate that especially in session space. Like when you're told to work, sometimes no means because of work and no one needs to come out and sometimes no means just like get off me. Well, yeah. Yeah. So the you'll see that on the sheet as well. We have safe words. So the safe words that we'll be using in this space is yellow and red. Um yellow means so if I'm working with Lourdes and something she goes, it says yellow, I'm just gonna pause. I'm not gonna remove my hands. I'm just gonna stay there. I'm gonna let her body assimilate to what's happening here. If she says red, then I'm just gonna slowly take my hands away. I'm locked in the job. Oh my God. She said random, it's gonna slowly come away and in this space, if someone is saying yellow or red, just put your hand up that way one of us can come over. Um and then it, it will end up being a teaching moment for the client, for the, for, you know, the, the, the giver, et cetera. Um, and these terms, there's other terms, maybe you wanna use that. I find a lot of people that haven't had a lot of trauma around yellow or around red. So they're not like red, you know, it's just not there. I mean, if there is and maybe have a different safety word, you know, in some, some streams, I, I use the word avocado at times but then, you know, they could be ch from an avocado. So, but yeah, that, that, that, that's the point. Yeah.